In the spirit of the Vancouver Olympics, I thought I’d share with you Chanel’s ridiculous(ly fabulous) sportswear line expansion for 2010. That’s right, it’s not just 30K snowboards and black and white goggles for the Sundance glitterati anymore. Now they have everything from fishing gear to surfboards to inline skates. Behold, the ultimate display of luxury consumerism…
How genius is this? Quilted skis to match the iconic purses.
I can see T-Pain sportin’ these.
What self-respecting male golfer or lesbian would carry these?
Prevent your skull from being fractured in complete style.
Is this that paddle that fratboys hit each other with? Or is this an oar? Can you tell I’m not sporty?
For those who don’t consider the black one faggoty enough…
Iman overboard! Okay, that was horrible..
I’m also unsure what this is. And why are the balls see-through? Maybe it’s a projector that projects grid balls flying at you or something.
Isn’t it pointless to make a crotchless cup?
These are so ugly. I want them.
This says “over-the-hill and unashamed!”
These will really help you get noticed at the gym.
Jesus, companies will make anything.
To celebrate the 40th anniversary of Apollo 11’s lunar landing this past summer, Louis Vuitton designed a Malle Mars trunk. If we ever develop a community on Mars, I’ll have to go out and get myself one of these.
Buzz Aldrin, Jim Lovell and Sally Ride was not only at the opening but they recently starred in LV’s summer campaign.
The custom trunk is still on display at the American Museum of Natural History alongside other NASA memorabilia.
Jesus, fashion houses will make anything. There’s something for everyone…
Chanel cupcakes for those who are too fat to fit into a Chanel suit.
For the jocks! Wouldn’t this make a great Superbowl party favour?
And the most blatant agenda pushing I’ve ever seen by LV…
Combining two things all chinks love: badminton and badminton cases.
Highlights of Paris fashion Week – Spring 2009
I know I said I wasn’t going to talk about womenswear but fashion carnage is the best kind of carnage next to Gary Coleman talking about virginity. Also, I just love Tim Blanks so much. But I do miss him on Fashion File. That other chinstrap fuckface is such a hack. Didn’t he beat out people in a reality show to be the host of Fashion File? I rather listen to Ralph Lauren paint dry.
Tim Blanks has moved onto bigger and better things with Style.com and other great European magazines. He deserves all the success he gets as he’s just such a classy guy who never comes across as pretentious as he should.
Some of my favourite clips from this clip:
“Like Edith Piaf on Mars..”
“Ya, on crack”
– Tim Blanks talking to some douche
“It restores your faith in fashion.”
– Some douche
– Some douche
“Maybe we’re getting better, I don’t know.”
– Marc Jacobs (now an uber douche)
“It’s all about who has the sickest shoe.”
– Some gay and fat douche
Something in a Spanish accent that was incomprehensible blah blah blah artist glamour modern woman…
– Salma Hayek
Even Paul McCartney gave me douche chills!
Was that the Flaming Lips bunny at the end of that last show or did I just hallucinate a bunny suit? Regardless, that clip gave me more douche chills than Ryan Seacrest trying to high five a blind man. But I also loved it at the same time in the same way that I would still get on all fours and let Ryan Seacrest skull fuck me (for money).
Which is more likely to happen than Salma Hayek saying something witty (or in unbroken English) that Tina Fey didn’t have to write for her.
Question: can Salma Hayek even read? We’ll discuss that further in my next entry if I don’t get distracted by all these vapid videos.
Favourite quote from Paris Fashion Week (from an American douche with a bowl-cut, quel surprise):
“Who cares about the economy when you can have blue leopard dresses?”
Take note AIG employees. You don’t need a 401K when you’ve got blue leopard dresses to look forward to.