Chinese Work Ethic Sunny Fong

Men's fashion carnage etcetera in all its naked glory…

Category: TheSelby.com Rip-offs

Blah

What a snoozefest:
Todd_Selby_The_Story_of_The_Selby

Watch this instead:

Oh shit, I meant this:

Phew.

Steamy windows

Busy Sunday

Before:

In progress:

Walls will be greyish taupe (I think):

Any suggestions are welcomed!

175 Things That Kinda Suck About Toronto – #21 – 28

21. FASHION FILE
Whose dick do I have to suck to get Tim Blanks to come back to Toronto?
Answer: Tim Blanks

22. OPTIONS FOR LATE-NIGHT EATS
When I’m.. fekkin’ drunk and shiiiiiit, I want options dammit!1 Instaed of … fuckin PIzza Piza and shit or dirty shwama places on College Street, I want to be ablt to get something good to eat past 2 AM. And no, I don’t want to go to Frans, Golden FUCKING griddel or someting.. Just fucking have some good food stands like jerk chicken and roti. Or souvlaki, fries and shit. Not fucking hot dogs and Subway and shiiiit..
There is choice but compared to the amoutn of us drunkards out on the tizOWN there isnt eno’iugh to accccomadtae..

Wtf am I talkin about? lol
Whatever, im going to have another beeeeeer and then go tog bed, fuckers! BOTTOMS UP.. WHOOOOOOoooOOOooooooo!!!!1
I wonder whos still up so I can text them to get their sexy ass OVA here…

23. CYCLISTS
I’m not a driver. I don’t own a car anymore. I don’t want to ever own a car. It’s a waste of money and it’s a completely unethical purchase when I have a great transit system to rely on in this great city… *awkward silence* Yes… Anyway, when I did drive to work, it was mostly because I was working around Jane and Finch as a Youth Worker. I hated taking the highways there due to rush hour so my daily commute was spent on the actual streets: Davenport, Church, sometimes Eglinton because it’s wide, Mount Pleasant, sometimes Dufferin, Jane…

And I can’t even count the amount of times I’ve been cut off by cyclists. Cyclists in this city think that because they have chosen a more greener option for travel, they own the friggin’ road. Well, you don’t. You’re a single bag o’ bones on a metal rack with wheels weaving in and out of Hummers and Hondas. Please stop cutting me off! Please do not try to beat my right turn when you’re a block away and just stop like every other vehicle behind me! Please don’t cut me off and then flip me the finger! Please don’t give me that look like I’m killing your grandchildren with my gas guzzler as chances are, you’re just a courier for a bevvy of downtown corporations and I’m trying to get to my job as a community worker. And for the love of God, stop it with your protests that not only stop traffic for no reason other than to get on your high horse about owning a bike but you’re also blocking streetcars full of people (well, me) who have to get to a meeting downtown.

Oh wait, I don’t drive anymore. Carry on, cyclists. But the next time you throw a burger into someone’s car, expect to be beaten to a pulp.

Stay in your lane and respect the rules like you’re a vehicle!

24. QUEEN CAR
I know I already mentioned streetcars but this specific line needs its own entry.

25. AGING UNEMPLOYED ART SCHOOL KIDS
Toronto is a hotbed for jobless art school kids who run rampant in the streets. Look at them all over the west end sticking clever homemade stickers all over public washrooms, taking barback positions away from our newly landed immigrants (only to quit a week later to shoot a short film in Rio) and wearing smelly clothes to play frisbee in Trinity Bellwoods.

I went to art school too but I got myself a real job.

Ya, irony, androgyny, appropriation, the fringe… We get it already.

26. LIGHT POLLUTION
Waiting for a light at Yonge/Bloor, Yonge/Dundas or King/York at night is like when you fall asleep on your couch watching television. And you’re half asleep but you just can’t get up to go to bed or even to turn it off. So you turn your head or rotate around but the flashing pictures keep reflecting off the couch and hitting your eyes. Sometimes you wake up and continue watching but then you realize that it’s just stupid ads at that point.
Only in this case on the street, it is just stupid ads that you don’t give two shits about.

27. MUCHMUSIC
Oh, you don’t watch it? Neither do I.
Also, why do VJs seem to get to cut in front of every line? It’s not like they’re real Canadian celebrities like Steven Page, Michael Cera or Alanis Morrisette. Speaking of which, all three don’t work here and as soon as Michael Cera cuts that umbilical cord and gets his royalty cheques, he’ll be permanently doing his internet show from a loft in Red Hook.

28. TELLING PEOPLE HOW TO GET AROUND
“Excuse me, but I’m not from here. How do I get to Coxwell and Gerrard?”

*approaches car* “Uh… Sure. You can go straight across Davenport (shit, or is it Dupont… No, we’re on Davenport, that should be right…) Then it turns into Church so just keep following it even though it looks like you should get off it, eh. You’ll cross Bloor and you’ll hit Gerrard eventually, eh. Make a left and continue. Fun fact, College actually turns into Carlton east of Yonge even though they’re the same street, eh. Anyway, once you go east past Little India, you can either stay on Gerrard or make a left as there are two Gerrards that run parallel to each other, eh. Are you looking for upper or lower?”

“Uh…”

“Or you can make a left at Bloor Street from Church previously known as Davenport and continue along Bloor, eh. But Bloor also turns into Danforth Avenue after Broadview so don’t worry. Then make a right onto Coxwell, eh. But once you hit Danforth, you’ve gone too far, eh.”

“What? How can I hit Danforth if I’m on Danforth?”

“Oh, well Bloor turns into Danforth Avenue but then it turns into a fork in the road where one is continues as Danforth Avenue and one turns into Danforth Road, eh!”

“What? I don’t really underst-…”

“Anyway, good luck, eh! Go check out the CN Tower! It’s great at night, eh!”

Am I seeing things?

I want this clock.

It will distract people from my own lazy eye.

And it’s a subtle tribute to Lasagna Cat.

Apartment Therapy

I just submitted before and after photos for my bathroom to Apartment Therapy and some hot renovation tips of my own.
I hope they post it.

I’m on the hunt for chinky furniture so if anyone knows of any great shops that specialize in new or antique Chinese and/or Tibetan wood furniture, throw a message my way.
something like this would be beat. I can get two head chairs and maybe buy some benches…

Ah… So…

There’s a great place called Green Tea that’s local and walkable from my house but I can’t afford anything in there!

Maybe something like a round Danish dining table:

Speaking of Apartment Therapy, I am going to be late for my own therapy appointment…

A touch of style to the home: the shitter

As mentioned before, I am trying to rip off the Selby by documenting my own living space. So far, the bathroom and bedroom is completely done and I am VERY proud of them.

I actually don’t have a 3 dimensional eye and failed my 3-D Principles course partially due to the flu but mostly because I could appreciate installation but could never actually do it with much success. So being able to turn a space in my home into something functional and at least just a little more stylish than what it used to be a complete achievement. It took me weeks of scouting, planning, budgeting and sketches to get this and I’m seriously pleased with the results.

So the before:


– a completely unusable clawfoot bathtub (that I am now giving away if there are any takers)
– a giant but strong toilet
– the tub was so big, it stuck out and blocked the door
– the door hit the tub each time I opened it
– a disgusting vanity my dad picked out at Home Depot without consulting with me first
– awful tile that my uncle put up to hide the cracking plaster
– a vanity mirror and cabinet that was actually very retro and cool but it had to be taken down to put up new drywall
– rusting and stained fixtures, hardware and faucets
– copper pipes still existing

After:
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– new white door reduced to 24 inches and moved over to save space
– slim 29.5-inch Kohler/Sterling tub with pop drain
– Chocolate modern canvas shower curtain with chrome rod
– Desert Grey hexagonal tile
– dual-flush slim toilet
– new George bathmat

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– Vitra porcelain wall hung sink with counter space
– custom wood slim floating shelf
– Umbra Teardrop hardware
– el cheapo Mossimo (God, is this guy still around?) bath set
– Gluckstein grass woven accessories
– Urban Barn towels

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– Pegasus Italian-made modern faucet, dial and showerhead
– Heath dark grey convex “pillow” tile in a subway formation

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– Selection 25 faucet made in Quebec (cost more than the tub!) with a porcelain cartridge
– Mosaic Orta glass and limestone backsplash from Greece

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– a double happiness symbol Amy got for me when I first moved in and now it has a place to go, basically to block the gay guys next door from seeing my nips when I’m in the shitter

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– now that I have a patchy hipster beard, I don’t shave as much as I used to so yes, I am very Chinese and stock up on things I use regularly if it’s on sale (you should see how much toilet paper I have)

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Yes, Deer frame, maybe it’s too soon but I thought I’d give anyone who takes a shit at my place something to think about – oddly enough, the WTC’s pattern matches my shower tile pattern

Sexy bathroom ftw. No more using the basement bathroom that basically looks like someone installed an outhouse inside the home.
Next stop, plum dining room.

Enjoying my new room…

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Sigh. Done.

Sneak preview..

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I’m off to do a photo shoot but I wanted to get this up for today. A sneak preview of my potential Selby.com rip-off…

Finally done painting! Back to sitting on my ass and blogging…

5 coats and counting…

Painting is taking away from writing!

I’m wearing shitty shitty shitty Akademiks underwear, a shitty t-shirt from Chinatown and a Para Paints painter’s hat.

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