Met Life

by sunnyfong

God, I’ve been so out of it. My house is covered in a layer of sawdust, plaster and drywall dust. My clothes smell like grout. I have been eating microwaved food for almost a month. Naturally, I’m going to post about the 2011 Met Gala in New York. I used to dream about attending this but now it’s just a pile of celebrity bullshit. No style, no glamour… Just a bunch of twigs in sequined rags picked by their stylists.

Strange that they would allow the Met’s custodial staff to walk on the red carpet.

Although I think it’s great to see Asians representing, she is wearing the feather duster my mom used to beat me with when I got an A-.

I feel like she looks like one of those kitchen sink sponge holders that are shaped like frogs.

Has Claire Danes become the new Rita Wilson?

I just fell asleep looking at this photo. How are people this beautiful so fucking boring?

Do you think she’s hiding a pot of her stew in that dress?

Wow, Precious is looking pretty good.

I know I made fun of my girl at the Oscars but I’ll have to say that she looks pretty fucking cool. The star-spangled Stella McCartney number not only flatters her figure but brings back that old Hollywood glamour. I really have nothing negative thing to say about it but I’m also a huge faggot for M.

Fuck, after all these years, Linda Blair is still riding that Exorcist coattail.

I like that Salma actually wore McQueen to the McQueen tribute. I would typically have a racist Hispanic joke or some offensive comment about her smelling like a burnt gordita but after her being AMAZING on 30 Rock, I have come to love Salma Hayek. She makes me cocoa for coocoo poofs!

I mean, did Chris Brown hit her in the head again before she got dressed?

And once again because I love this so much, wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

All photos were stolen from some shitty supermarket checkout aisle ass rag.