Guys With IStyle?

by sunnyfong

I haven’t been to Guys With iPhones in a while. And I certainly haven’t done a review in a while.

The Good

Nothing more stylish than this queen wearing head-to-toe John Galliano. Looks like he’s ready for a night of circuit house though I would think he’d get really hot under those club lights.

Liam here probably has a sketchbook with him at all times and farts a lot when he sleeps but he sure is cute, eh? Get rid of the ironic t-shirts, keep the beard, keep the cardigan and make sure your head is above the covers then we have someone you’ll want to raise black babies with.

Not only is Laquon Marcus Smith from the suburbs of Atlanta stylish and fucking cute, he probably has a science degree and thinks saying the n-word is so 2006. And if you look closely at the bulge in his pants, you’ll see that he has something that definitely makes him boyfriend material: a wallet.

This guy was all symmetrical and now he’s not because of that subtle head tilt that says “I worked 3 straight double shifts at Foot Locker so that I can pay for your fucking serano-stuffed sole. I’m going to wear dis at a really nice restaurant on our anniversary and all the white people in suits can kiss my muthafuckin’ black ass.” SOMEONE is getting a blowjob in the Escalade on the way back to the crib. So hot.

Ya know, surprisingly the only problem I have with these two firecrackers are those stupid glasses. Really. They’re kinda fat, they probably smell like grilled pork and they’re standing on a rug that probably costs more than their cars combined. But they do look carefree and like they’d be a good time in bed. I’m sold. Let’s order lobster bisque up to the room and smear it on each other’s bodies.

The Bad

I guess this is what a costume from a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles themed live gay sex show would look like. Look at this creep. And why is he covering his crotch area? Is there a cut-out there too?

Wow, Pax is all grown up now.

These are the kind of foreign exchange students that your friend invites out to meet your group of friends. At first, you want to be welcoming and show them a good time but inevitably you have to get away cuz they spend all night singing pop songs with an annoying accent and no sense of rhythm. Ra ra ra-ra-ra! Ga ga oh-la-la!

More to come…