Chinese Work Ethic Sunny Fong

Men's fashion carnage etcetera in all its naked glory…

Month: February, 2011

Oscar Aftermath

Here’s a quick look at a few of the fellas at the Vanity Fair afterparty hosted by Graydon Carter (Editor).

I’m starting to really like 50 Cent. Kanye’s all in people’s faces but 50 Cent is slowly becoming the much more cooler guy in the background without any identity crises to wax poetic about. Just chillin’.


Tom Ford looked incredibly smart in his one-button velvet jacket in a subtle enough blue to be formal but stand out in the crowd of penguins. This get-up is very him. I think he looks fantastic and I give him the Best Dressed nod.


Inside the Sunset, Jake Gyllenhaal and 50 Cent did some whiskey shots and then apparently performed a mutual jerkoff session in one of the private VIP restrooms. Or at least that’s what my sources say. And when I say sources, I mean my perverted brain.


Speaking of sword fights, doesn’t Anderson Cooper look absolutely giggly next to his hunky boytoy? Listen old guy, you’re kinda killin’ the hot guy buzz here.


Looks like Jude never fixed his bowtie even at the afterparty. Jude is so good looking, he’s one of the only actors who can get away with fucking his nanny and still seem like a really nice guy.


Ya know, it’s really hard to take your usual wardrobe and actually translate it to the Academy Awards. But I’ll give it to the Biebs this time since he has been getting so much hate lately. Abortions shmabortions, Justin!


I’m done with JT. He’s smug, obnoxious and walks around like he’s God’s gift to the arts. I thought he was horrible in The Social Network but I’d still lick his taint. I just want to fuck his mouth so he’d shut the fuck up.


I’m not sure which slut accompanied him (I don’t really look at females all that much) but the top of her dress is very interesting and flattering. I’m mostly jealous that she knows what JT’s cum tastes like. So unfair.

And for the hell of it, here are a few obligatory trainwreck Worst Dressed contenders:

Madonna showed up before heading to her own afterafterparty at her Manager’s home (co-hosted with Demi) looking trampier than her 14-year-old daughter. Big points off for the very un-PC fur detail. Unless it’s made out of Carlos Leon’s pubic hair.


What has Rita Wilson done other than wear tacky expensive clothing all the time and blow Tom Hanks? She is the epitome of celebrity style: tasteless, fake and unoriginal.


It’s the Oscars, not the opening night of a new Persian restaurant.


Joan Collins still looking like a widow who obviously killed her rich husband but no one dares to say anything. 1987 called, Joan.


I don’t even know who this is. Is she from Gossip Girl or that show Glee? Anyway, I just vomited in my own mouth. Hands down, the worst outfit all night.

And because I have to watch some Law & Order now, I’ll leave you with this again because I love it so much:

Why do I even bother with the Oscars?


I finally watched the Oscars last night after a few years of just not caring. I rather utilize my free time to watch the actual films (btw, I want my 2 hours and $6 back from the makers of The Social Network). A friend BEGGED me to join her as she need “someone to bitch with” and boy, did I deliver? Being a dedicated civil servant, community worker and a purveyor of the arts with years of diversity and leadership training, I sometimes find that I’m even offending myself during an awards show broadcast. I’m an equal opportunity offender. I think my poor friend chose the wrong gay guy to ogle the gowns and flap my flimsy wrists around to every cheesy montage. I warned her that I wasn’t the right homosexual to watch this with. I mean, have you seen my blog, girlfiend? See? I can’t even use “girlfriend” without it sounding ridiculously contrived.

There were a few things working for her:
– James Franco could be covered in his own shit and talking about his sister’s pregnancy for the entire 3 hours and and I’d avoid blinking
– I do love like fashion
– I can provide a quick witty remark for every minute detail
– I was going to being Harvey’s (albeit I ate it all myself in the end)

But the odds were against her from the beginning:
– I despise most musicals except for Hedwig
– I can’t stand Anne Hathaway
– I hate most celebrities
– I hate most women
– I hate most men
– I hate most white people
– I hate most films
– I studied film but avoided watching older movies or classic cinema
– I routinely obsess over 3 or 4 foreign or indie movies a year (I still haven’t seen Schindler’s List or Star Wars)
– I think my Chewbacca impression is dead-on
– I’m racist

What’s worse is that she changed the venue to a neighbour in the same building and they had kids. I certainly don’t like hanging out at places where I can’t use the n-word freely (ironically, of course). You should’ve seen their looks when I said Jennifer Hudson needed some English-speaking lessons. Oh come on, it was a joke!

I went out with a film industry friend of mine the other night for a drink and in the middle of talking about some recent documentaries I was passionate about, he said “it’s quite strange that you feel this connection to these stories [on film]. It’s surprising because you portray yourself as such a misanthrope.”

Well, I applauded and smiled when the awards for Best Documentary and Best Documentary Short were presented so yes, I have some feelings. As well, I was ecstatic to see PS22 (no, those weren’t “retarded kids” so don’t make me come after you) as I’m a huge fan. So there you go. A nice ending to an otherwise seething evening of racial epithets, insults and passing judgments on famous assholes that I will never meet.

Next up, I’ll cover Vanity Fair’s party at the Sunset.

Tea Length


Hide your kids, hide your wife…

Hasan Dances


Get down Grandpa… Get down Grandpa…

The little baby swaying to the beat is amazing. That kid’s haircut is amazing. Also, he doesn’t seem to even give a shit that Baba is putting on a show which leads me to believe that this isn’t an unique performance. And I’m just going to stop analyzing it and watch it again.

Thanks to Adam for sending me this kinda shit on a daily basis.

Tossed Salad

Formal


Yes.


No.

Congrats!


Last week, Alexander Wang was named GQ’s Best New Menswear Designer.

He gets 50K and a Dockers capsule collection which I will be looking forward to. Dockers has been a pretty safe choice for the last few years with its new slimmer designs and updated basics. I’ve noticed it more in editorials. I smell a comeback and Alexander Wang is the perfect designer to create a younger line for us hipper folk who typically don’t want to go into a Sears.

Wang’s street level T line is doing super well with both Wall Street jocks and female purveyors of boyfriend gear snatching up gear. Soft tees, athletic lines and subtle details make the line attractive to active fashionisters, but it’s a little too pricey for yours truly and the common folk. I’m not paying $80 for a plain jersey tee but if there is a customer base out there, God bless him.

It’s great to see Asians slowly taking over the fashion world. 2010 was a fantastic year for the Asian community with three of the top prizes at the CFDA Awards going to young Asian designers:


Jason Wu for Best Womenswear, Richard Chai for Best Menswear and Wang for Best Accessories.

With Asian markets drooling for more luxury goods and potentially setting future Western and European trends, more brands will be following suit to cater to the slitty slitty slit slits. Watch out for our Chinese Work Ethic!

Let’s hope more Asian models, customers and designers will mean a shift in standards of beauty. So really, this basically comes down to me getting laid more effortlessly.

Change


Yes.


No.

Absolute Discharge

Uncanny

%d bloggers like this: