The 2010 Blah-cademy Awards

by sunnyfong

Didn’t see it. Didn’t care. Really no interest in sitting through awards shows anymore unless I know there’s going to be a fuck-up a la Britney. I might tune in for a Radiohead and/or Bjork performance but other than that, SNOOZERS as my lovely friend Liz would say.

Perused the men’s fashion at the Oscars today and thought I’d post a few highlights…

My friend was recently obsessed with watching the Olympics. And each time I went over to visit, I saw Ryan Reynolds 50 bazillion times promoting Vancouver tourism. He looked scruffy, hot and dirty. Like a well-dressed mountain man who probably has a giant dick, beautiful hairy thighs and cooks a mean weiner and beans over the fire. This just makes him look like the smooth, wannabe fratboy Van Wilder that he started his career as. Don’t like the clean-cut look, Ryan. Where’s that Canadian edge, man? I’d still hit it of course.

These two look like they got their suits from my grade 9 athletic formal.

Jason Bateman is the kind of guy that looks like he’d be soooooo boring in bed and drive the same car he did when he first moved to LA to appear more “real” but in reality, he’s into pissing on you in the shower, owns a lot of leather jackets and wants you to eat cereal off his dick for fun. I love him.

Gerard Butler was apparently hot in 300 but the more public appearances he makes, the more he looks like a serial killer. Look at those glassy eyes! This whole post should be renamed “ugly men I’d get with anyway because I’m slutty.”

Zac Efron attending the Oscars is like when your boss shows up to your Friday night bbq for coworkers, assuming he was invited anyway. Awkwaaaaaaaaard. I know it’s a PR move but Lorenzo Lamas knew to stay home.

I didn’t know Antonio Bandares was currently shooting a biopic about Saddam Hussein.

I am probably the only person out there who doesn’t think Robert Downey Jr. is this amazing actor. He’s so obnoxious. This whole get-up is obnoxious. He looks like a less obnoxious Elton John.

I forgot who this is but he looks damn fine. For his body type, he chose a very good suit. Perfect amount of cuff, great watch and I love the deep colour of the pocket square.

This is the fancyboy director of The Prophet (a must-see according to a friend from France) and his star. I think the young guy’s silhouette is great and the vest totally works.

One of the actors from The Hurt Locker (loved the movie except for the horribly predictable ending) cleans up well. Yowza.

Chris Pine really can’t do wrong. He could wear a suit made out of Brooke Astor’s skin and I would still fuck him.

Congrats to Tom Ford for having a highly successful men’s line and a potential long-term career in Hollywood. Nominations for his directorial debut. Not bad for a guy who had said that women should just try to take pleasure in fake butterflies on a pair of heels when asked about how to cope after 9-11. A Single Man is next on the list.

How were the women? From what I skimmed, I saw a few hoochies (Mariah Carey) and a few disasters. What I really want to know is if Monique shaved her legs for the big night!