Levi Johnston’s johnson
I just watched Levi Johnston on Larry King Live and got a little dumber.
Kathy Griffin was sitting in for ol’ Larry and she was so on because it’s like pulling teeth trying to interview a degenerate.
Thank god he’s super hot and really, it’s kinda nice that he doesn’t say much, eh? I can just imagine him in his light blue cotton Banana Republic boxers (that I had to buy him), lying next to me on the couch, confused by all the big words they’re using on Crossfire. His big vacant eyes reflecting Hannity’s face. He gets up to go to the kitchen, scratches his beautiful ass, comes back with two beers, a bag of pepperettes and a copy of the paper.
Once all the meat’s done and my stomach is bloated from finishing the rest of the case of beer, he takes a quick shower, comes back down and carries me up to bed where we play cards until Jimmy Kimmel is over. An entire 4 hours hanging with him and the only thing he said was “what time is it?” Kinda perfect, right?
Tomorrow, we’ll go to Home Depot and look at new tools he wants to buy. Then we’ll go eat fried chicken at Mary Brown’s. And as the new tools clang clang clang in the trunk of his Chevy on the way home, I will give him the best blowjob he has ever received in his life. And life is perfect.
Anyway, I’m shamefully excited to see him in Playgirl soon but he BETTER show his front. Who cares about his butt? We all want to see Johnston’s johnson obviously.
I really love the photographs he posed for in GQ:
I just wish they had done something about Photoshopping that baby out. Ugh. Anyway, I think I love you Levi.