Chinese Work Ethic Sunny Fong

Men's fashion carnage etcetera in all its naked glory…

Month: March, 2009

A little stroll along King East…

Today, before a doctor’s appointment, I decided to head down to Corktown to kill some time. Known for its strip of high-end home furnishings, King East is always a fun window shopping experience. I say window shopping because 99% of the time, I’m not exactly ready to drop $1600 on one plastic dining chair.

I didn’t really find any except these Eames-inspired chairs that I am 80% set on…


Not bad for $250 each but like any chink, I haggled the price. I think I’m going to split a set of 4 with a friend as I need two head chairs for the new dining table.

Stopped into Klaus to find this little contraption:

Ya, I don’t know what it is either. My guess is that it’s a lucky cat foosball/pinball table? Regardless, it still costs more than my house.

But I did stumble upon some beautiful accessories by Krane Design:


Ken Chow, graduate of FIT and fellow Torontonian, is the creator of this amazing fashion company that is the perfect symbiosis of
All the items I looked at were so sleek and modern but had an organic, handmade quality to them. Not one seam is out of place. Each strap is cut to perfection. And to top it off, the prices weren’t out of this world for this kind of craftsmanship. I was extremely interested in a black canvas and leather laptop bag with leather legs.

Siebel messenger with oiled cowhide leather trim:

It was elegant but functional at the same time. I might want to get a laptop before I even think about going back to see that bag again. Surprisingly, a simple handmade leather and canvas messenger or laptop bag is around $430 CDN.

Leather bag belt:

Chow also does very utilitarian clothing pieces that don’t automatically scream techno chic.
This jacket is great and also has a touch of Christopher Bailey in it. The weaved sleeves are a great touch.

The worst kind of fashion inspired by futurism is the kind that looks like it could be part of the wardrobe in Hackers. Knee pads, wires and overly-designed technological clichés.

It’s also all in the details as his cotton bags are waxed for extra durability and some of the buttons on his pieces are actually made of pewter.

I’ll be sure to buy one of these as my next big bag purchase once my windfall from escorting comes through.

Past-times

A new addition to the Fong household…

Getting my new sofa tomorrow…

Only I could find this luxurious couch and still be able to afford it while funemployed. Most people in my situation would downgrade and go to Ikea to get a $200 Klakkenherger or whatever the fuck they call them. My mother threw me a bunch of money because she felt bad for me but frankly, I don’t even need it. Turning tricks really does work!

The only issue is how big it is. It’s so big, I think I won’t need to buy anything else because the couch will fill the entire room. It will be like one of those crazy orgiastic 70’s romper rooms where it’s wall to wall bed. I’ll fill the room with lots of couples with hairy bushes and get some beaded curtains.
Have a bucket for the disposal of used condoms…

Groovy, man…

God, I need sleep. I wish I was sleepy.

143

Chris, you’ll get this:

Someone please buy this for me.
Please. I’ll 143 forever.

Poor Sal.

175 Things That Kinda Suck About Toronto – #40 – 44

40. THE NEW GPS SYSTEM AT SPADINA STATION
Great. Now I can see exactly how long I have to wait for the 510. The thing is placed behind the lineup so when you turn around to look, you can’t really see it because people are standing all over the place. It would be nice if it was placed where the electronic marquee is. Ya know, where everyone faces.

This photo above was taken on the day of the installation. After this day, the streetcars just went back to their normal inconsistency.
Last weekend, I decided to try the 510 instead of my usual route and when I checked the GPS, all the streetcars were below Dundas going southbound and the system said “25 minutes, 27 minutes, 30 minutes, 30 minutes and 30 minutes.” I walked instead and saw the 5 streetcars in a row going northbound.
I’ve come to the conclusion that they installed the GPS there to piss people off.

41. PIZZA

When was the last time you had a good, simple, no frills slice of pizza in Toronto?
Yeah, I can’t remember. Unless I order from the Pizza Nova near Pape, the Domino’s at Parliament or the Mamma’s Pizza on Danforth.
The fact that Pizza Pizza has a corporate head office on Jarvis shows that we don’t have enough good pizza joints in the city. The proof is in the pudding…er, pizza.
Is that a young Darryl Hammond on the right?

42. BRIDLEPATH SPEEDBUMPS
I like that the wealthiest people in the city also have the most annoyingly useless speedbumps in the city. Not only do these speedbumps kill your shocks but they’re not particularly obvious so everyone just drives really fast over them to get out of the Bridlepath. And what sucks is that every few weeks you think “ya know what, I’m gonna try an alternative route today…” and you inevitably end up in the Bridlepath getting whiplash and cursing people for having pool sheds that are bigger than the Metro YMCA.

43. SNOWPLOWING
Because I have major back issues and a corner lot, shoveling each year is either a great winter past-time or the worst thing for me. The worst thing is when the City of Toronto snowplows come a day after the snowfall and plow over my work. Sometimes they see me shoveling and they just come and push all the snow onto my sidewalk. Meanwhile, I’m breaking my back trying not to get a fine or a passive aggressive note from my lesbian neighbours. Because of my plowing woes, I always stop to watch plow guys for a few minutes just to see what their deal is.

I saw this one City worker guy just pushing snow around, just killing time for $34.61 an hour. This past winter, I watched a plow guy wait for me on my corner to finish. Then the minute I stepped into my door, he plowed a pile onto my sidewalk. Didn’t plow anything else. Just my sidewalk and drove off. I wanted to murder him. It took me another 30 minutes to dig the area out.
I also noticed that they tend to wait a long time after a snowfall to plow anything or they plow when it’s not necessary anymore.
I didn’t mind when Mel Lastman brought in the army. At least they cleaned the city up instead of these overpaid government fucks.

44. BRUCE WEBER HATES US



I met Bruce Weber (famous photographer for Vanity Fair, Vogue, Abercrombie & Fitch, Versace etc…) while schmoozing at a Toronto Film Festival event. He was standing next to me in a hallway and we started chatting. I asked him “so I’ve seen you show in New York and your book is great. Any chance you might show here in the future? Maybe AGO or even Stephen Bulger?”

Bruce: “No.”

Innocent Fun


Goodnight, Michelle.

Hazy Sunday Morning

This is really the only thing that is keeping me alive today. After a night of smoking pot (I didn’t inhale) and pkaying Risk, I am definitely not functioning today. I keep nodding off or zoning out… Until I look at this. And then I’m wide awake for a few minutes.

Once again, Thom Browne’s clothing is like a shot of espresso!

Weapons of Mass Destruction

Tights

175 Things That Kinda Suck About Toronto – #36 – 40

36. YONGE AND EGLINTON
Happy couples. Office buildings. Corporate schleps running to What A Bagel! and Kitchen Stuff Plus on their lunch break. A poorly laid out mall. I guess the bars are okay… Oh wait, that’s Yonge and St. Clair.
Everything is more pricey up there for some reason too including rents. Walking to get to a store between Eglinton and Lawrence is hell on earth both in the winter and summer.
There’s something about the area that sucks the soul out of everyone.
Even the nickname sucks:”Yonge and Eg.” The only reason for this nickname is because people can’t be bothered to say the whole name. Whooooooo!!!
Yonge and Eg is like celebrities who wear nicer clothes than the normal city rube population but no matter what, they never quite reach that “classy” level they’re attempting to achieve.

37. HALLOWEEN ON CHURCH STREET
That biatch from the Star is wrong, yo. Maybe 6 or 7 years ago, it was a a great time with your friends. 80% of people were dressed up, 50% of people were REALLY dressed up. The most amazingly creative costumes one could find on Halloween night. Not a “sexy cat” or “devil girl” in sight. I remember a group of transsexual flight attendants and a handsome pilot literally stopping traffic to cross the street. Drivers honked, hooted and hollered. I used to get goosed walking down Church Street in my costume. It was always a hoot! Now, the street is closed off, flooded with a mix of costumed revelers and people who come down to watch us like we’re fish in an aquarium. It’s too crowded, dull and annoying to walk through. Frankly, boring straight people who want to see a freak show should stay home and pass out candy.

38. COUNTDOWN TRAFFIC SIGNALS
Has anyone noticed that some of them count down to zero and then stay green for another 5 -10 seconds (I’ve timed them)? So motorists slow down to a rolling stop, notice that it’s still green and gun it through the intersection. It looks so dangerous.

39. THE REACTION TO ROBIN KAY
Yes, the head of the Fashion Design Council of Canada got really drunk (and gets really drunk every year) and makes a slew of drunk speeches to Canada’s “fashion elite.” We have a fashion elite? Please. Robin Kay gets dumped on for staggering and saying such shocking statements such as “‘Fabulous,’is the only F-word they let me use.” Well, pin a rose on your nose! Cover your children’s ears! Fashion Week in Toronto is a bland, underwhelming and vicious cycle of marketing execs and Audi employees in abnormally pointy shoes (I’m referring to the men!). We take no risks, we don’t invite real artists to represent the shows and the after parties are all very corporate affairs where the lack of diversity in the crowd reminds us of why most Canadian fashion talent eventually move to either Europe or New York.

Robin Kay isn’t even edgy or wacky enough to garner this kind of negative press. I have to get insanely drunk just to get through some of the events.
If Robin Kay actually did a line on the podium at Holt Renfrew launch or maybe threw in a few young upstarts into the designer mix, our Fashion Week might be somewhat tolerable on an excitement standpoint. I mean, she stumbled and stuttered on the Mango runway. MANGO for fuck’s sake! Why is Mango, a large retailer, even doing a show? You don’t see Express at New York Fashion Week. Fashion elite? That’s just funny.
A real fashion elite moment: Calvin Klein’s cameo on 30 Rock.

40. TASTE OF DANFORTH
For some reason, we thought it would be fun to go check out the festival in the evening to see if we oculd score some cheap eats. It was cramped, badly laid out, filled with the wrong kind of people and the restaurant offerings were mediocre. We had to eventually take the back streets to get the hell out of there. I kept getting hit in the face and being pushed around in the crowd. 80% of the time, I was pressed up against a group of rude teenagers. It took us almost an hour to navigate through the strip to get back home. It was basically a nosh pit. *foooooooooooog horrrrrrrrrrrrrrn*

Food-wise, it usually kinda goes something like this:
“Oh look souvlaki. Oh look souvlaki. Oh look souvlaki. Oh look souvlaki. Oh look souvlaki. Oh look souvlaki. Oh look souvlaki. Oh look souvlaki. Oh look, cold sushi that has been sitting in the sun all day. Oh look souvlaki. Oh look souvlaki. Oh look souvlaki. Oh look souvlaki. Oh look souvlaki. Oh look souvlaki. Oh look souvlaki. Oh look souvlaki. Oh look souvlaki. Oh look, the subway.”

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